I Like Office Supplies

Well, orientation is Friday, and I start college on Monday. It feels weird to say that but at the same time – no big deal. College seems like the natural next step in my life and I’m ready for it. Mostly.

In other news, the song Rehab by Amy Winehouse makes me want to give a lap dance. Strange effect.
edit: I’m having a [somewhat] minor freak-out as far as money goes. Being unemployed really stresses me out – quitting Burlington was probably stupid, but there’s no turning back now. I can get a new job easily if I do temp work but even that isn’t a sure thing. Why is finding a job so difficult for me? A girl got fired from Burlington and had a new job within days. I absolutely do not want this to be like last summer, when I was unemployed for three months. I know part of it was just me being lazy and not looking hard, but at the same time it seems like I can apply to every place in Denton, and follow up on them, and never even get an interview. I can’t figure it out.

Progress?

Tonight feels early. It’s nearly 2am and while my body is getting tired, my mind is still active. I have no desire to go to bed because I have no obligations tomorrow. I tell myself that I’m enjoying my week of sleeping in because I’m about to be in school again, and working, and busy – but really, it’s just me being lazy.

At the beginning of the year, I made five resolutions.
1. Become an early riser.
2. Seriously limit caffine intake.
3. Save $2000.
4. Cross three things off my life “to do” list.
5. Stop procrastinating.
Now, six months later, I get up around 8:00 most mornings, drink no more than one coke per day (usually a can), have $1000 in the bank but no job, have crossed “make out in an elevator” and “bake a heart-shaped cake” off my list, and done nothing to stop procrastinating. I can’t decide whether to be proud of my progress or annoyed that I haven’t made more of it.

Amazing

Last night was as close to perfect as any night I’ve had in a long time. Kirby and I spent all night together, watching movies and listening to the rain as we drifted in and out of sleep. It was normal and relaxed and just what I needed.

I realized just how amazing it is that I’ve grown to trust somebody so completely. If he were to tell me the trees were leaking Pepsi, I would know without a shadow of doubt that it was the truth. He is quite honestly the only person I’ve ever allowed myself to be entirely vulnerable in front of. I’ve given him myself in every concievable way – a gamble, to be sure, but one well worth it. In return he’s given me his heart. He’s allowed me to break it and to piece it back again and in the process, we’ve somehow constructed a bond beyond what I can explain here. Simply put, it’s love.

Finally

I got my accpetance letter from UNT today!

Daydreaming

There’s a train leaving in an hour.
It’s not waiting for me,
and I’m not waiting for you.

Good-bye…

So Exciting

I got to meet my new little cousin today. His name is Patrick, he’s three weeks old, and he’s adorable.

The last baby in the family was my sister, and she’s 16 now.

I was afraid to hold him because he’s so tiny. When I finally did, I was surprised that I was able to feel him breathing. Did I think newborns don’t breathe? I’m not sure. It made me scared to be a mom [eventually] because I felt very awkward around him. I’m completely comfortable around toddlers and kids, but around babies, I’m a little less at ease. Maybe it will be different around my own child.

Quirky

Interesting little quirk of mine:
When I eat things most finger foods – baby carrots, cheese sticks, chips sometimes, things like that – I never eat the end that I hold while I’m eating it. I bite off almost to the end and then set the end aside.

I know, weird.

So I turned in my two weeks to Burlington today. A lot of shit happened and a lot of shit IS happening, and I wanted to get out before it gets really bad. Not to mention that I’m just not happy there, AND it doesn’t pay very well.. I hate the idea of job hunting again but ultimately I think it’ll be worth it. I will miss the discount, though (all 10%…).

Only Two Degrees

Today at work, I sold a suit to an older couple who live here in town.Turns out, their daughter is Jillian Fink.

Jillian Fink is married to Patrick Dempsey, aka Dr. McDreamy.

Go figure.

Also, driving while the sun is shining is nice.
Driving while the sun is shining and it’s raining is a little disconcerting.

Double Whammy

Mother’s Day just so happens to fall on the four-month anniversary of my mom’s death.

Good thing I’m off work that day…

True Story

Two years ago, I took off my shoes and ran through the elementary school playground barefoot. It was nearly 4am and the grass was soaking wet, a mix of dew and recycled lake water from the sprinklers. I was completely alone, swinging on the monkey bars and slipping off the balance beam. Eventually I wandered away from the playground, shoes in hand, jeans soaked to the knee. A puddle had formed in the parking lot and I ran towards and it jumped – SPLASH – right into the middle. It was childish and spontaneous and a little gross, but I didn’t care.

I was happy.